The artist as a directionless slacker... pt. 1

Don't ask me why, but I watched a holiday movie a year or two back where the main character was an artist-type. I think I secretly like bad, cheesy television because it makes me feel like I have taste. I don't like it for the quality, but for the fact that it makes me feel like I can identify bad quality. Backwards, I know.

But the way the artist-type character was depicted made me realize that the screenwriter's perception of the artist (and more so the person who wants to make a living from their art, and not more traditionally stable occupations) was that of a directionless slacker. All the other characters, except for the reluctant love interest, thought of the artist as one who could not figure out what they wanted to do with their life. Is that how the world sees us? Perhaps the writer(s) lived the situation before writing it into a movie. I don't really think that was the intended message of the movie: If everyone around the artist-type can just suffer watching all that wasted potential long enough, a straight-laced business type will eventually come along and take the artist off our hands.

As I look around these days, I think that business type has arrived. Not in the form of a significant other who takes the edge off the drifting artist, but in the form of the Artisan Entrepreneur. So, it's not in the form of some outside force or influence, but part of the artist-types themselves.

Artists are creative thinkers, and creative thinking is not always valued in the traditional workplace. So the artist-type doesn't always fit well in some traditional workplaces. They are square pegs trying to fit in round holes. If they want to be happy in their job, they often have to either find a (usually) lower paying job that requires little more than showing up and doing what you are told, or they have to find work in one of the accepted artist-type positions (see Graphic Artist, Copy Writer, Illustrator, etc.). The former type of job is more easily found, but worries the artist-type's circle of friends that the artist-type will never reach their full potential. The latter type of job exists occasionally in the traditional corporate world, but are more readily available in the creative corporate world of design firms and the like.

Seems there were always freelancers (Copy Writers, Illustrators, Designers) who liked the freedom of setting your own hours, having some input in what you create, etc. An early version of today's artisan entrepreneur. If you go that route, you're bound to learn more than a little bit about running a business.

Seems there have long been quite a few artists who could make their living by creating great art, and commanding high prices for it. But it also seems that route has often required someone else with business sense to manage and guide that career. Another route where the artist is bound to develop a business sense over the years.

But the Artisan Entrepreneur differs a little. They may have been the freelancer, and they may still be one. They may also have done the work-a-day job, and may still be doing that, too. For one reason or another, they are trying to move on from that. They may want more control over what they produce. It's a direction which does not guarantee success (not that the others mentioned do either), and in many cases that I have seen, you start out without really knowing the ropes.

I've done the freelance thing, and I have done the design firm thing, and I have done the in-house corporate design department thing. I've also done the day job that pays the bills. All of those jobs taught me something about business, which positioned me to make decisions in my latest iteration as working artist. I think all Artisan Entrepreneurs draw on their past work experience to some extent. But they also have to use their creative way of thinking to further their business, and they often do so in unexpected ways (that's the entrepreneur part). They also use their imagination and a pretty strong belief in their own ability to make a go of it.

To be continued...

I just can't do all this... Wait a minute... Yes I can... Stop talking to yourself...

Sometimes I have to ask myself if I seek out a schedule that is overloaded. Like I can not stand to be idle. Like I attract the hectic and challenging situations in which I find myself.

"Well, you do, you know", says myself.

9 years of freelancing (and the years prior of full-time employment) conditioned me to be able to work 20 hour days. I don't recommend it, but after a while of burning the midnight oil, I believe your body gets accustomed to the lack of sleep. And once you are conditioned to be awake, it seems you will be, whether you need to be or not.

Since stopping the freelance work and doing the art thing full-time, the hours got slightly better and the stress level went down. As my art business has ramped up over the last two years, and as I opened another shop to supply folks with the findings I use in my rings and video tutorials, the hours necessary to stay on track in both businesses increased, and the stress level spikes a bit every once in a while.

Most of the stress comes from making people wait for their purchase, and more often than not I put it on myself. To not let myself get stressed about a delay in an order seems like I am not giving that customer's order proper attention. Folks are great about being understanding and most times exceedingly patient.

From time to time (see Day to Day, or daily basis), I say to myself, "I just can't do all this". Though I have known for a while that if I tell myself such things that I am ensuring that I won't be able to do it all, I still do. It's only recently that I have begun to catch myself and to say, "I can do all this". Yes, I talk to myself. A lot. It's not like I buy myself 2 cups of coffee so that the 2 me's can each have one while we sit down and have a real conversation at the coffee shop. Yet.

What I try to remember these days, more than any thing else, is that none of what I deal with is truly a problem. I am so fortunate to have a business with stress to worry about. I truly believe that if I was still freelancing, or even full-time at a design firm, I would be facing down-sizing or a complete lack of projects. It is by pure good fortune that I am in the position I am in right now. Sure, I have to consider every day that I might sell no art, but I really believe that with the reach of the web, I can continue to find customers. I just have to make sure that my reproductions are affordable and continue to do things that put my name and my work out there.

I gave up long ago trying to understand why people connect with my ideas and images, and now just count it as a blessing that my art continues to connect. That's really all I can hope for business-wise, as that is what supports my art business. It is a job, with stress and problems, but if you have a job without stress and problems, you don't have a job.

So, on any given day, one might find me down on the capacity I have to do it all, or one might find me thinking I have it all under control. I just have to remember that I need to just be happy that I am being found by you and many others. And to hope that I am not talking to myself when you find me.

New Dog... for the White House and for me!

Every once in a while, I can get another dog done. The list of requested breeds is long, but Portuguese Water Dog is near the top. This breed is a lot better known than it was even a few months ago, which I expect will means lots more options for PWD-themed merchandise.

I personally look at that as a good. We own a Wire Fox Terrier, and you don't find that one very often on the dog keychain rack.

This one is in the Etsy store.

The Value You Can't See

As a self-managed working artist, one has to make many daily decisions based on the value of things. One have to ask one's self is one thing worth doing over another thing. Can I possibly make my money back on this advertising? The questions may be phrased differently, but the choice for me often comes down to: "What has the most value to what I hope to achieve?"

It can be difficult to make these decisions, because the face value of something can be far lower than its hidden value. I find that it's easier for me to be more confident when making these decisions if I keep in mind that everything I do to add value to my art business builds on what I have already done. More importantly, I really can't accurately judge what will be the value of any action, judgment or dollar spent.

Case in point, a .20¢ listing fee on Etsy. The face value is .20¢ that buys you a 4-month listing on Etsy. At one time, a hidden value of the .20¢ was 5-10 minutes of exposure on the front page of your category. That exposure is not as likely to happen now, but it does not mean that there isn't some exposure value in listing or renewing a listing. Renewing listings made it possible for me to establish a presence on Etsy. But, Etsy was far less populated then, and it takes a lot more renewing to make a splash now. It may not worth it for some, but it always will be for me because of the way I see the value of the .20¢.

There is at least .60¢ in listing fees that I have spent on Etsy that have had immeasurable value.

The first .20¢ was about 2 years ago. I listed one of my dog series. That listing was seen by a publishing company. In fact, one of the largest fine art reproduction companies around. As a teenager, working in a frame shop, I can remember looking through this company's catalog. That listing led to a licensing agreement with said publishing company. That agreement has led to my work being seen on major retail websites, in catalogs and the like. That agreement has allowed me to continue making art on my terms, the art I want to make, while putting my work in front of a larger audience that I could never hope to reach on my own. That agreement allows me to spend my days working as an artist.

The second .20¢, and the third .20¢ were spent within days of each other. I was contacted through Etsy by two major catalog companies directly to have my work sold in their pages. Without my publishing agreement, I probably would not have been able to even consider these opportunities. Running my Etsy shops fills my days as it is. It would be murder to try to fill catalog orders as well. Or maybe it wouldn't. Me judging situations again, but I am pretty sure it would be more work than I can handle.

I can go on, as I am sure a lot of us could if we sat and thought about it, about little things we have done that blossomed into much larger things. Sure, everything business decision I made before I relisted the dog, or the By Order of the Managment Sign, or the Tin Toy Box Art led to my being found by the right person in the right place at the right time. I probably didn't even consider to what those particular relistings might lead. It's part of my daily routine, something I don't really consider beyond, "Well, these 3 pieces will look nice together", etc.

The point is, in the midst of the myriad of decisions I make each day, some expensive, some not, it has sometimes been the littlest, least expensive decisions/actions that have nudged my work into to just the right spot to be seen by someone who can help me to continue making my living as an artist.

I always hope that each .20¢ I spend to list or renew will come back to me as a sale. But it's exciting to think that I never know what I am gonna get.

And all the obstacles will disappear...

I have to say, again, that these last few weeks in our current home are dragging. I knew they would. Maybe I should have told myself they would fly by. Maybe by "knowing" that they would drag, I am making them drag. I fully believe it is our perceptions that define situations more so than the reality of those situations.

I think this is a test to see how well I can live in the present, rather than that magical future several weeks away. I keep telling myself, once we get into the new house, I'll have help in the Etsy shops. I'll be able to stay on top of so many things that I can't right now. I am so telling myself that once this thing happens, everything will be right in my world.

How's that for setting myself up for a let down? Certain things will have the potential to be much better. The shops ought to be better managed with two people putting their efforts toward that goal. Makes sense. But there will also be a 4-year old interjecting herself into the process, and if I don't just accept that as part of the new way of life, I'm bound to be disappointed each time it happens.

One thing I know will be different: I will have more time to create new art. Okay... I don't know that. And really, I know from experience that every time in the past when I have thought that a change being made would lead to more creative time, it has not panned out. But I am hopeful anyway.

Hopeful is good, right? As long as I don't base my happiness on any of these positive changes I expect to happen actually happening. It's hard not to do that, but I have to be okay with the positive changes not taking place, too.

One of the things I learned over the last two years was not to judge situations. If you judge a situation as bad, it will be bad. If you judge it to be an obstacle to what you really want, it will be an obstacle. Saying I have learned it and actually practicing it all the time are two different things. Many times I have lamented our current living situation. Too small, too noisy. No room for a home studio. Etc., etc. But there have been many good things about it as well.

I have seen that living situation as the biggest obstacle to taking the next step, to taking my business to the next level. But I have also seen it as the very thing that has made taking that next step possible. It has been both, depending on how I felt each day.

Now, after 3 years of waiting, this situation that I struggle not to judge each day will finally change. If I can just make it through the next few weeks. I'd like to imagine that the new situation will be so great that I won't feel compelled to judge it on a daily basis, that when we sign those papers, get those keys and set foot in our new home, all obstacles to what we want from life will disappear. But that's judging the situation. Instead, I need to accept that no matter what the situation, even if it seems an interminably long wait or new living arrangements that don't live up to my lofty expectations, that is exactly where we are supposed to be. And all the obstacles will disappear.

Leaving the nest for a bigger nest...

Way back in the day, before Pottery Barn Kids and such, when my wife and I were outfitting my young son's bedroom in a robot and space theme, we had a hard time finding robot-themed artwork. So I made some, and then I made a whole lot more. It's exciting to me that in the interim, more ways to find other robot/space art have appeared and grown. There is a lot of great robot-themed stuff out there.

Now, as we prepare to leave the tiny abode we have been in for the last 3 years, one of the things we are looking forward to is a bedroom for each kid. So we need some new artwork. I leave those decisions to my wife, and it just so happens that when I told her I had decided I wanted to do some new bird collage prints, she told me she had decided that our youngest daughter's room would feature bird art.

Our kids have lived for quite some time now within pinching and kicking distance of each other. It is my hope that these close quarters created a closeness that my kids might not have had if they had spent that same amount of time in the, "everyone with their own space" arrangement of a newer, larger home. I know that I am looking forward to everybody being able to separate when needed. I think most of the chaos in our home comes from the kids not being able to get away from each other.

So...why birds? I've already created a lot of bird art, and there is plenty of great bird art out there. Why am I suddenly drawn to birds again?

Well, here's what I think is happening. I really do think ideas find me, rather than I come up with them in a vacuum. Sometimes it's a response to what's happening in my life, sometimes it has to do with my affection for something.

If I look at what is going on in my life: We are leaving our little house, our nest if you will, for bigger digs. My girls will sleep in a room by themselves for the first time in their lives. They are growing up, and we are pushing them out of the nest they have known for so long. It's just a tiny push, but it's a push just the same. One girl, the younger, is excited to have her own room. The other, our middle kid, is excited too, but a little nervous about being by herself at night.

My oldest kid, my son, is a bird in this scenario, too. But not a tiny little scared though excited one like the girls. See, the day we close on the new house, I have to get over there and put up a fence and get a start on all things we want to do before we move in. It's a finely orchestrated plan that requires me to work quickly, with as little delay as possible. That same day at 4:00pm, my son's Scout Troop is supposed to go on a mountain backpacking trip 3 or 4 hours away. It is a trip he needs to go on to stay on track with advancement and attendance requirements.

He's not yet been camping by himself. I'm a leader in his Troop, so I usually attend outings. I try to stay out of his way on trips, because I know that the kid who goes on these trips by himself has a different experience than the kid whose parent tags along. I know that, eventually, he will have to go on trips without me.

So it looks like life may be trying to tell me that it's time to start pushing my son out of the nest. It certainly is setting up the scenario where I will have to decide whether or not to do it, while limiting my options for deciding against it. I would have a hard time deciding not to go, if it weren't for everything that we will have on our plate. It will still be hard to let him go.

So there you go. The whole bird thing, retro-fitted into my increasingly grown-up life. Someone asked me once why I thought people are so drawn to birds. Her theory was that we wish we could fly. My theory is that I wish they wouldn't.

Some people just have it... but you can tell they worked at it too

Image © Harry Stooshinoff

Wanted to tell you folks about a fellow Etsy artist whose work we love around here. Harry Stooshinoff is an artist and teacher living north of Lake Ontario. His work just blows me away! It is loose and precise all at once, and the minimal detail he uses is amazing.

I heard it said once that you know a painting is done when you would add nothing to it and take nothing away. His work has a life to it that seems it could only come from a quick gestural interpretation of a scene, yet each piece is so precise in its composition. No fussing and tweaking is apparent.

When you see work like that, you just know that the artist is one that has an innate ability to capture a scene, and distill it down to only the elements most necessary to give the viewer what they need to recognize what's there.

It's obvious that Harry is a much practiced and skilled artist. You could not do what he does without great knowledge, understanding, practice and control of your medium.

Do yourself a favor and check out his Etsy shop, paintbox.etsy.com.

Changes and Ends

Got some new artwork in the Etsy shop, 2 space patrol craft box art images and a new robot named Lois.

So, in a previous post, I alluded to changes and things ending. What's changing and ending?

Well, in a little over a month, we will be moving house. 3 years ago, we simplified. By that, I mean we made our lives smaller and less expensive. We have been living in a tiny little 1920's cottage house since then. We have owned that house for about ten years, and had kept it as a rental house while we flipped another house. We moved back in 3 years ago so that we could meet the requirements for selling the house without having to pay capital gains tax. It has been a tight fit, especially as the kids have grown, but it has been a good exercise for us. Dumb luck put us in a very manageable lifestyle for the current economic climate, so we are very fortunate to be able to buy in the current home market.

Part of our reason for simplifying was so that I could attempt to make my living solely off my art. My family has accommodated this dream, as it has made me a much happier and accessible person. Not so much, "I can't do that right now because I have to work." My full-time job has been being an artist for about a year and a half now.

Moving into a smaller space meant that my studio had to be moved to a separate location. This makes it difficult to work on shipping, etc. outside of the 9-5 workday. Selling your work through the internet means that people everywhere can buy at all hours. It also means that they will have questions at all hours. I can't answer some of the questions until I get into the studio, and that means folks have to wait, and they can't buy until I have answered their question. Having a studio at home again would make answering questions immediately possible again.

Sometime in mid-May, I will have all my Etsy shops operating from our new home, and I will have the added benefit of my wife, Lee, being on site. She's amazing with organization, and somehow, when I can have her involved, it takes a few hours to do what takes me a whole day by myself. Hopefully, that means more hours in the day to correspond with customers, quicker turnaround times on orders, and more time to create new work.

Our time in the little house is ending. For for 2 of the last 3 years, we have said, "It's just 2 years, we can make it." For the last year we have said, "Okay, we have been here 2 years, we can move now." Now we only have 1 month left. The 3 years sort of went by in a flash, but this last month seems to crawl. I know when I look back in a month, it will seem like the past month flew by as well, but it's a challenge to know that what you have been working towards for three years is within your grasp. But if that's the worst of what we have to go through to complete this change, I'm happy with that.

ABC's Cupid: A Print Giveaway!

Photo: ABC/Kevin Foley

Several months ago, I was contacted by someone from ABC's Cupid series to have 10 or so of my pieces used on sets of the show.

On Tuesday, March 31st, the show will premiere at 10/9c. I am having a giveaway to celebrate my art appearing on national TV. The first person that contacts me with a sighting of my art on Cupid will get a free print of their choice from my Etsy shop! Gotta have details like where you saw it: Trevor Pierce's apartment, the bar he works in, the psychiatrist's office, the psychiatric ward, etc. Also need to know what piece of artwork you saw.

I don't know what episode(s) the artwork will appear in, or even which sets, so you may have to watch a few episodes before you see anything. Giveaway will run until we have a winner.

Cupid is a remake of the cult favorite series of the '90s, from series creator Rob Thomas (Veronica Mars). It is described as such by the ABC website:

"Trevor Pierce is a larger than life character who insists that he is Cupid, the Roman god of love. He claims that he has been sent to New York City by Zeus to bring 100 romantically challenged couples together before being allowed to return to Mt. Olympus. His persistence eventually lands him in a mental institution.

Three months later, Trevor is found to be harmless to himself and others and is released -- but under certain conditions. Placed under the care of psychiatrist and self-help author Dr. Claire McCrae, he must attend her singles group therapy sessions on a regular basis so that she can monitor his progress.

Trevor returns to his rented room upstairs from the struggling Tres Equis Cantina, owned by Felix Araiza and his sister, Lita. In exchange for rent, Trevor becomes a bartender and creates an atmosphere for singles looking for lasting love. His ideas, such as half-price margarita nights and mariachi karaoke duets, could help him bring couples together and ultimately take him closer to the day that he gets to return to Mt. Olympus.

No one believes Trevor's story, but everyone finds him to be quite charming. Although he possesses a great knowledge of Greek mythology, Claire finds that Trevor constantly interferes and contradicts her when it comes to her pragmatic style of helping lonely hearts find their soul mates. In true love, Claire believes it's all about friendship and mutual respect; for Trevor, heat and passion conquer all. Only time will tell who will win this battle for love.

Cupid stars Bobby Cannavale (Will & Grace) as Trevor, Sarah Paulson (The Spirit, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip) as Claire, Rick Gomez (What About Brian) as Felix and Camille Guaty (Las Vegas) as Lita."

Wow! Technology is amazing!

So... I just downloaded a little blogging app for my iphone. Now I can post to my blog anytime and I don't have to wait until I have a free moment at home or at work. I will be a blogging machine.

I say all that knowing full well that I will not be blogging any more frequently. It's more about having something to write about than any ease of use or having time on my hands. But I will have something to write soon! We are in the process of looking for new digs for both the Golden empire and the Golden family. Time has come to put it all in the same place. I can't do it all myself anymore. Gotta take advantage of that free family labor.

So, why a picture of what's probably a 300-400 year old oak tree all chopped up and being carted away? I don't know. I hated to see it destroyed. I don't know where came from or where it was going. It could have been destroyed naturally. But it reminded me that everything changes and that all things eventually end.



-- Post From My iPhone

Chasing my youth...

Over the last year, my son has taken increasing interest in skateboarding. This is not the often passing interest that little boys can take in many things. Not the way he is into Bakugan the week before his birthday, and then when a relative buys him something Bakugan for his birthday, he's not into it anymore.

No, not like that. Now he skates every day. And he asks me to do it with him. Cool. I can do that, but I can't do that. I have this to do or that to do right now. So, he goes out on the back deck and practices his Ollie. When I can, usually on the weekends, I'll take him somewhere we can skate together.

Ten years ago, when we moved back to Wilmington (hometown of both my wife and me), I thought to myself, wouldn't it be interesting to raise my son where I was raised? To surround him with similar interests and activities as I was around? To see if those interests and surroundings shape him the way they had shaped me?

Some things are different. He went to an elementary school that pushed him harder academically, and as a result, he has made straight A's in middle school. Me? I made a B in second grade, and it was all down hill after that until I failed Trig in 11th Grade (I rebounded in college).

He plays guitar and sings a good bit. I grew up surrounded by guitars and various instruments with a musician father and I did not take a real interest in playing music until college. He already plays as well as I did at my first public performance.

His art is highly detailed and while it once held the place in his life that skating now holds, it's no longer a daily pursuit, but he does draw a good bit most weeks. He was selling his work around age 8. I was just about his age now (11) when I started to sell my work.

Gone are the days of action figures and costumes. His mom packed those away this week, as they have not found their way out of their chests and storage containers in some time. If he is not actually skating now, he is either watching it on TV and DVD, or playing at it on the Playstation or the Wii.

I worried that he might be relegated to the same experience in skating as I was. I loved it more than I was good at it. I was not bold enough to attempt what many of my contemporaries were pulling off. I could do enough to enjoy it, but not enough to excel at it. I always wanted to do more, but I feared what failing at doing more would most certainly bring. Pain, occasional embarrassment, possibly missing teeth, etc.

I took him to our local skate park, somewhere I won't even go yet, as my limited skills are very rusty. I had barely signed the waiver for him to skate, when, in the midst of skaters far more skilled than either one of us, I watched him walk out to the lip of a large bowl, and caught my breath as he proceeded to drop in. He didn't pull it off, but he didn't break his neck either. That's him in a nutshell. Much more confident than I ever was. Sure that he can do whatever he attempts. Eventually.

I stopped myself from shouting out to him. From telling him not to drop in just yet. I knew that I would embarrass him more with that warning than any fall in front of the other skaters would. I knew his lack of skill we be evident, but if he was okay with that, them I would be too. I knew that he could get up from a fall, and try again. That the trying again after a fall would earn him more respect there than never trying would.

He fell a lot more that day, but he got out there. While his skating was timid and tentative a lot of the time, getting out there and trying was the big trick of the day. Skating is a good lesson for that. It's as much what you are willing to try as it is what you succeed at that determines how you see yourself and how others see you.

On daily basis, I struggle with feeling like my kids aren't listening to me. It's a battle getting them to do or not do. There's not often a call for being encouraging, as much as there is a call for discouraging this or that behavior or action. But every once in a while, there is that opportunity to calm a fear, or point out strengths, erase a doubt. And sometimes even then, it doesn't seem like they are listening. But we have always told them that they can do it, and if they find themselves failing, that it's important to keep trying.

Watching my son repeatedly practice his Ollie over and over when I can't clear 2 inches on my own (yet), or drop in to a bowl when I know it's beyond his skill level, I know that he has been listening when it really counts. I know that he is already better at most of what he does than I was even 7 years after the age he is now.

So, I think of myself out there, riding my skateboard amongst a bunch of people half my height. I wonder, "Am I chasing my youth?" It's pretty far gone by now. I won't catch it. Riding a piece of wood with a bunch of kids won't make me young again. But for now, it's the best place to be reminded of so many things. To keep trying, to get back up from a fall, and that there comes a time in every parent's life when it's time to stay quiet and see if you've taught those things to your kids.

Another blog post about how I'm not posting enough on my blog? Or... I'm always where I'm s'pposed to be

Okay, so I promise not to say how long it has been since I posted, or how I should post more, but really...

I really do wish I was here more often and sharing much more meaningful posts than the occasional new work post. Sometimes that's what it seems life is being reduced to though: I listed this, I'm packing packages, etc. That's a big part of making the web a big part of the way you sell your work. Chasing online sales by creating a presence everywhere you can. Twitter, Facebook, Blog, re-list, repeat.

I truly know how fortunate I am to be creating for a living. It's a process that finds its ways to remind you that there cannot be good times without bad, or bad without good.

Over the last year, my wife's mother, Jan, found it harder and harder to breathe. Despite multiple check-ups, nothing was ever found to be the cause until this past Christmas Eve. Her primary care physician (the same one who responded to her multiple office visits to determine a cause for the breathing and other problems with an exasperated and aggravated, "Well...what do you want me to do about it?") had a member of the office staff call and let us know that the diagnosis was most likely ovarian cancer. To her credit, the doctor had tearfully told her in person the week before that cancer was likely the culprit. But that previous office visit was the last time that doctor saw her. The doctor was there but not available to see her patient on following visits. We're all busy, right?

Over the next 24 days, the preliminary diagnosis was confirmed by pathology, and treatment began. She was hospitalized at first, while treatment focused on what was thought to be blood clots in her lungs, and reducing fluid in her abdomen (a symptom of advanced Ovarian Cancer).

Her breathing became easier with the fluid gone, but there was debate about the clots in the lungs. While that can be a symptom of active cancer, her pulmonologist felt that it was not clots, but tumors. Her trip home was brief, as the fluid returned and her breathing got worse, and she was re-admitted to the hospital. Seven days later, she was gone. The cancer had spread to her lungs.

On the evening of January 17th, she just stopped breathing. She had already said she did not want any more procedures and did not want to be resuscitated. I was standing in the lobby of Indochine, the always hopping local Thai restaurant, waiting for take out. We had left the hospital about an hour before. 5 minutes prior, I had talked to my sister-in-law, who was spending the night in Jan's room. There was little or no change in Jan's condition. The the call came that we needed to get to the hospital as soon as we could. We raced across town, through several red lights, but we were too late.

We think she held on until most of the family had gone for the night. She constantly told us to go home in the last few days, to stop worrying about her.

A few days before she passed, I was waiting for the doctor (the lung guy, not her Primary Care) to check in on Jan. I had stopped even trying to get any work done. I was fortunate to realize that this situation called for me to do anything and everything that I could to make this easier for my wife and her siblings and for my children. Two years ago I would not have been able to recognize that. I would have been stressed about work and how much I was getting behind, and I just would not have been available to my family.

She was sleeping, and the room was growing dark. My wife had just gone home after waiting all day for a doctor, any doctor, to come through so that we could find out something more about Jan's prognosis. At that point, we still did not know whether she was going to make it or not.

Jan woke up and called me over. She told me I had been a good son-in-law. I don't remember what I said. When I told my wife later what Jan had said, my wife started to cry. "She knows she's going", she said.

The doctor never showed, but that was fine. I know that's not really why I was there that night.

So, there was a lot of bad this past January, but a lot of good as well. There is a big hole in our lives where Jan used to be. Personally, I was lucky enough to truly experience being where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to be doing. I spent a large part of my free time over the last few years learning about that, and now I know what that feels like. I never once thought I needed to be at work instead. My son finally learned to do an Ollie, my wife is learning that she will be able go on without her mother in her life, my oldest daughter learned a lot about loss, and our youngest daughter taught us all that we can be sad for our loss, but we should be happy for Jan.

My business/professional life kept going without my full attention. Lots of folks had to wait longer than they should have to receive their purchases, but they were all very understanding. A lot of the things I have been working on career-wise over the last year came to fruition. Catalogs came out, major retailers began carrying my work, other major retailers are considering carrying my work, etc. All great things, things that make me feel good about what I have done as an artist.

But I feel so much better that with all that going on, all I cared about is what I needed to be doing as a husband, father and son-in-law.

New in the shop this week: Conversation Heart Collages. I started on these images about 3 years ago, and finally finished them up this week. They are on Etsy for now.

Gift Certificates!! and Virtual Gift Notices!!

If you need to get a gift from johnwgolden.etsy.com, and it's past Dec. 18th, watcha gonna do?

Get 'em a gift certificate!! or buy that gift anyway and I'll send a virtual gift notice!!

Gift Certificates

Available in $15, $25, $50 and $100 denominations, these Gift Certificates can be delivered via e-mail up until Midnight on Dec. 24th, 2008. I can send the electronic version of your certificate to either you, for printing and wrapping, or forwarding if you want it to come from you. Or I can send it directly to the recipient in your name.

Virtual Gift Notice

Say you want to purchase an actual gift, but it can't get there in time for the 25th? You can still purchase the gift, and I will send an e-mail notification to your recipient with an image of the print(s) you purchased. Then, in the days following the 25th, your recipient will receive the actual package containing your gift.

New Dogs!!

It should be so hard to get dogs done, but it always seems to take for ever :) I do have a couple of new ones since the last time I was in here.

I now have a Pit Bull (which I hope to have variations of very soon), and a West Highland White Terrier.

I am smack dab in the middle of the busy season, and will write more once the 18th comes and goes.

******CYBER MONDAY BOGO SALE*******

One day only! The only public BOGO sale I'll have this year.

Buy one print between 9:00am and 12:00am on Dec. 1st, 2008, and receive a print of your choice of equal or lesser value. Put your BOGO choice(s) in the Message to seller. Purchase only the prints you want to pay for.

I'll honor the BOGO on up to 4 purchased prints. Offer not available on non-print items. Sale ends Dec. 2, 2008 at 12:01am.

Home stretch 2008!

Been super busy these last months! Launching a supply store has taken up what little free time I had, but I am grateful that the shop has been well-received. Now if I can just shorten the turn-around time for orders. Thanks to all who have been patient with me on that front. I'm still doing both stores all by my self, which I don't recommend unless your shipping system is well-established but adaptable.

It has been very educational running a different type of store on Etsy. I spend a lot more time on communications in the supply store than I do in the art store. The supply products tend to generate more questions for potential buyers than does the art. And supplies take longer to package. But in most aspects, running both stores is pretty similar.

Good things are happening art-wise. Several new catalog opportunities are brewing, so it ought to become easier for more folks to buy framed reproductions of some of my work soon.

Looking forward to Thanksgiving, as it might give me time to try to get a few more dogs ready in time for the Holidays.

Hope you all have a nice holiday!! Don't overdo it.

Welcome to Etsy - Wardomatic!

I am very excited to see that a buddy of mine has his Etsy shop up and running. I have always loved his work, and really like what he has available. Soon, we will also be able to enjoy and buy his wife's photography on Etsy as well.

Check out Wardomatic.

Cool giveaway!!

Momsbyheart.blogspot.com is sponsoring a giveaway of 3 prints of the winner's choice from my Woodland Critters Series.

Rules on how to enter are here.

Fabribot Invasion!!!

After letting this big pile of printed fabric sit around for the better part of 4 months, I finally got down to business with Fabribots, cloth versions of my Quelstar Tin Toy Robot Series.

I was a bit rusty at sewing, but after the first few, I was able to pick up a little speed, and have used almost all of the fabric I had on hand. Got 5 more to sew (including Electroman and the x-9) and I'll be done with this batch. Just ordered fabric for another 36 robots, so I hope to have more for the Holidays.

These are not really intended for children under 6.

Land of Nod...

We love Land of Nod in our house, so I was pretty excited when they contacted me about carrying a few of my prints.

They chose 3 images from my Quelstar Tin Toys series, and it's nice to finally be able to share this news with everyone.

These are available at the Land of Nod website, and as they tend to do, they have created a nice room with available bedding and such, a room of which these prints can be a part.

UV Resin Tutorial...

Another tutorial, this one on UV Resin! UV Resin is much easier to apply than 2-part resin, as you don't mix anything. It starts to cure once exposed UV light, so you can cure it in sunlight as an inexpensive solution, or using a UV lamp for more consistent results.

Has a nice window of workability in which you can deal with bubbles and such prior to exposing it. It sets very quickly though once exposed, so it is important to minimize bubbles and such as much as possible prior to exposure.

One of the best things about it is that the quick "setting" of the resin lets you see which pieces aren't coming out well, and the resin can often be popped out of your finding before it sets completely, giving you a do-over of sorts.

A new leaf, and all that...

So I am about to take the littlest one to preschool, and when I get back, my wife and I are going to start a walking program. And by walking program, I mean we are going to walk around the block at least once. Maybe on Wednesday we will go twice.

Over the last two years we haven't had a lot of exercise, so we're trying to get active again. I had started walking/running this summer, after I returned from a week at summer camp in the mountains. I started that week with a swim test that I thought would kill me. I had to jump into some pretty cold lake water which was over my head, swim 200 yards, any stroke, and then backstroke 50 yards, and then tread water for 30 seconds. 100 yards in, I thought I was gonna die. I had thought that my arms would tire, and that is what would get me, but it was the breathing that was the culprit.

I made it to the end, and got out of the water, equal stunned that I had made it, and that it had been so hard. It took 2 hours before I felt back to normal after that.

Then there were the hills. And shinsplints. But towards the end of the week, I started to crave the burn. And when I got back to the flat ground of the coast, I couldn't walk fast enough to get that same level of exertion, and I'm not quite ready to full-on run just yet. So that, along with a low-level of fitness, and my general lack of dedication to physical activity led me to stop walking in the mornings.

But now we are resolving to eat smaller portions, walk 3 times a week, and get more sleep. So new leaf, consider yourself turned. For now.

New Digital Art Demo

This new video has been waiting on deck for me to do the voice over, and it's finally done. It's probably an intermediate level demo, in that it might make more sense to you if you have a little Photoshop™ experience, but I like to think you can just watch it just to see the process I go through as I create my digital art.

My latest tutorial...DG3 Art Glaze